Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Dirty Mind!

Warning: Mature thoughts, and some links contain mature/graphic content!

“My weak flesh cost me everything”, says Mr. Dominique Strauss-Kahn otherwise popularly known as DSK. A French political biggie, who could have been the next President of France, if not for that unfortunate incident. Dirty old man misjudged the 'fling' and it backfired. I don't know if the French people should have forgiven this 'little' misadventure being the very open cultured society? They were the ones who did ban the burkhas in the first place! Look at India, we 'forgive' our politicians, no matter what kind of harakiri they commit! We have our share of shameless scamsters, not just in money matters but also of DSK-kinds ;)

That brings me to the subject of this write-up. Men, Women and Sexuality. The topic spun off after few blogs that I read in recent past, few incidents which hit news-stands... correction should be tabloid-stands/net-sphere, a 'sleazy' movie released recently, its reviews and the common thread running thru all these... SEX... someone said in recent past “only SRK and sex sells in Bollywood”

This is the most sleaziest piece I have written till date and perhaps will be the last one. Not because I shy away from a good discussion on a good topic, but because I don't want to be popular for wrong reasons! Am I trying to get more hits to my blog by using sex as an instrument? Well, may be... but why would I do it? What will more hits bring to me? Since I won't/don't have any monetary gains from my blog, it really doesn't matter. But yes, there are blogs seeking attention... here's one from an Egyptian(?) girl – this 'lady' posted few nudes of herself to seek the attention of the world towards the 'atrocities' committed towards women in her part of the world. True, that women may not be treated well in Arab world – judging by non-Arab standards – the burkhas, not allowed to drive, being 'suppressed', etc, etc. But then the burkha-banning countries are no good either - half naked, politically powerful, dirty old men chasing domestic help – is that better? Or is the life as an ever thinning, anorexic model more beautiful??

Am I generalizing my opinions based few incidents? Yes of course, I am!

In my interactions with the French people, I’ve found them to be the most friendly people around the world - very kind and very helpful. I also admire their pride for their culture. In the same breath, let me also praise my Arab friends – not 'my' to be more precise, my father's. My father spend good 25-30 years of his life in middle-east. And I’ve had taste of Arab culture and hospitality thru some of his best friends. I'm told by my dad at least a thousand million times of this incident – father used to work at airport with the national carrier. My first trip was when I was 6 months old :) when the plane landed this Arab colleague, friend of my father, was so happy to see me the first time... he danced all the way from tarmac to the terminal holding me in his arms... much later after we migrated back to India, we came to know that this gentleman committed suicide in his mother's lap by shooting himself. Reason – multiple failed marriages... that’s a different story!! may be some other time...

What I’m trying to say here is – it's not about cultures! Definitely not cultures... each culture is different. And we should respect the differences. Its more about respect rather than anything else. Respect each other's cultures. Respecting our own culture and treasuring it in the truest sense, by educating ourselves and others. Respecting the existence of another beings irrespective of their race, gender, religion or any other differentiating factor. Respecting ourselves as we have been created. Respecting our bodies, heart, mind, thoughts, emotions. Respecting women – i.e. men not seeing them as just beautiful, feminine, 'sexy' bodies. And women respecting themselves, respecting their own enigmatic... mystic (is more proper word) 'form'.

This could have been a great end to this post, but I’m not done yet. It brings me to another aspect – overexposure of SEX in our day to day life!

The lady/girl blogger certainly had an intention for her act. “Was is noble or misguided?”, is how you interpret it – for me it was childish, could have been handled in a better, mature way. I read about her in this blog. Tried to search the original blog, only to find no good substance to read or to co-relate it to her act – maybe I did not do my homework well – but that's the first assessment. Only 1% of the hits to that page will actually do the rest of the homework! Remaining 99% will just have a 'good' look at the pictures and then forget it! Now, how is this different than the regular porn that one sees? Or for the arty ones, how is it different from the 'regular' nudes (in photography or painting or sculpture)?

The art that we see or call 'art' now – the 'fat' nude mistress of Goya(?) or the Venus or similar works – was it not porn of its times? I'm not much into history of art or art for that matter... but just a vague and 'baseless' thought...

How is this blogger's picture different from say the 'other pictures' that hit Indian news? An 'actress' posing for magazine. She did what she did – a semi nude for a lad-magazine! Perfect material for all the photo-shoppers to do their home-works!! Now, if her nudes are making rounds on the internet – it's nobody’s fault. I don't think, she was so naïve not to know the end results – then, why sue the magazine, who did stuck to their job of printing what they clicked (of-course after few touch-ups here and there, I’m sure!)

Are we not using sex to sell? Little known actress to get famous, the magazine to earn the direct money, millions of hits for the sites hosting the different versions of 'pics'?

Another instance of a movie released recently (which inspires the title of this post), depicting the life of an actress who used her sexuality/sensuality to her advantage – who chose not to be hypocritical about the thing that sells – sex! And that too in her times, when sex was considered a taboo. She died young. Well, this 'story' has a potential of becoming a blockbuster! Plus, add to it the tadka of SEX!! You can't go wrong with this one, even if you are blind (maybe you can, if you are actually blind!!) The movie is gathering rave reviews all over and will be the biggest hit of the season. Sex does sell! And the lead actress is getting acknowledged for not just putting on weight or showing cleavage, but also for acting very well – for adding sensuality to the role without making it vulgar!! Isn't it laughable, ridiculous when the original lady portrayed in-your-face-vulgarity to break the stereotypes??

Aren't we just fooling around with 'nice' words and 'lofty' principles instead of facing the truth!

It's better to admit of your wrong-doings (like this bloke wrote an awesome blog) than having double-standards!

I'd prefer an honest DSK who forfeits his political future, career and admits his weakness. I'd prefer an activist who chose to go nude to make a point. Rather than the other lame examples I've quoted...

Sex to sell? Sex to make a point? Sex to seek attention? Sex to gather hits? Sex-starved or S-exposed? Aren't we trivializing a very beautiful aspect of our lives? Something sacredly personal? And that too for petty gains? Are we not allowing 'others' to take away 'something' from us - in disguise of a 'promotion', under a pretext of 'enlightenment', covered up in a 'breaking news', bluntly as an 'expose', innocently as an arty 'entertainment' or as an 'thought provoking' blog-post?

PS: If you have reached this far, thanks for reading it completely. I normally am very length-conscious but this time one thing lead to another and it kept on growing. Actual names and identities of people are hidden in this post for 'obvious' reasons :D


  1. You do need to research a lot more on feminism without ridiculing it in the name of sex and attention seeking.

    Comparing SRK and sex example shows one sided view and immature take. But you being a man I understand. men who read my blog from Egypt called me one sided too.

    Did you read my blog? did you are the link to Aliaa 's blog that I shared? did you read her cnn interview? did you read her tweets?

    did you see how Egyptians molested her at tahrir square?

    if not. shame on you.

  2. "maybe I did not do my homework well – but that's the first assessment"
    I guess I should remove 'maybe' - Guilty as charged!

    However, "I'd prefer an activist who chose to go nude to make a point. Rather than the other lame examples I've quoted." (OTHER LAME EXAMPLEs)

    And the topic on which I've written is different from the Aliaa's suffering/protest/injustice... albeit taking an example of hers... and many others... to come to the final paragraph!

    Suggest you a second read :)

  3. sometimes in order for a voice to be heard you need to resort to catching the society's doesnt show us the nature of the person doing it but the nature of the society that demands it...

    i think u see the uphill task these women face...their demands are so reasonable that it seems that the whole of our kinds is deaf and blind purposely , so perhaps just plain stupid to pretend that we dont see the truth in it...this is why i make fun of my kind...atleast that will make them see themselves without wasting energy in defensiveness or justifications or useless philosophical masturbations...

    we all prostituting ourselves..its nowadays called self marketing..just another word for the same thing..

  4. precisely... it shows the nature of society that 'demands' it (which includes me!).. it certainly is an uphill task - civilizing the our kinds!

  5. i really liked last para of your blog, Abu.
    you write very well.

    1. Wow Arpit :) I must admit - I thought I'll be at the "receiving end" in all the comments on this post ;) Thanks for changing the trend ;)